[ he watches claude's finger tap, before his gaze blinks upwards again. ]
...When you are in a position of authority, it can be quite difficult to form casual ties to others, much less serious ones.
But though this is not the ideal way to do it... [ dying, going to heaven, dying yet again, ] I hope it hasn't been a wholly unpleasant experience. Though companionship may not be something we can always choose for ourselves, I don't believe it is something we ought to be denied, either.
...I find myself quite glad, not to be General for a few weeks. Though at the same time, sometimes it is all I can think of. All that must be resolved, when I return.
Obviously, a lot of what happened here wasn't ideal. But it does still feel like a break from my "real" life. All this free time, and ability to socialize without worrying about rank or politics.
And yet we continue to play starchess in our spare time, not only out of enjoyment, but to keep our minds sharp for warfare. Is that not true?
[ The lives of too many hinge on our decisions.
there is no bitterness or resentment, here. he is just stating things as they are. ]
...But even my youth has spared me some of that responsibility. I was a Cloud Knight, but no one important.
I'm sorry that we differ in that way. It sounds as if you've had to carry a heavy mantle from an early age. ...It doesn't mean I'll take it easy on you.
I never said now. But I promise it won't take hundreds of years of practice. [ tch ] We should play shatranj sometime and you can see how much you'd be gloating then.
[ HE GOT DISTRACTED BECAUSE HE WANTS TO WIN
anyway ]
But you're right that it's a lot of responsibility. But it's what I wanted, so I can't complain. It's hard to gain anything without making sacrifices.
Mhm, I don't doubt you. I'd safely say you're the fastest to pick up this game, of those I've tried to teach.
[ simultaneously a genuine compliment and a tease/distraction tactic. it's amusing to see him so worked up... jing yuan is not above (harmless) emotional manipulation ]
I'd like to learn. There is nothing wrong with being humbled, now and then. [ gives him a FRIENDLY wink as he starts dismantling another one of claude's formations. there is plenty of time for claude to catch on and recover, at least. ]
...How noble of you, though I'd say you're still allowed a complaint or two. I don't imagine those sacrifices are enjoyable to make.
[ anyway! i'm sorry you're not going to understand this, but in a mirror somewhere the bg, a memory interrupts their match and conversation. ]
He was forced to reincarnate into someone else. He's gone.
...But his successor was eventually freed from the Shackling Prison.
[ there's a briefly projected image of a child. a hatchling vidyadhara, who had been kept in that same, lightless cell. condemned to suffer punishment for someone else's crimes. ]
Yes. That child was not allowed to leave the Shackling Prison for some time. It took many years of negotiation for his freedom.
[ sometimes you are imprisoned as an adult, and are tortured to death for your crimes... though "death" in this context means rebirth. so the reincarnated version of you grows up in captivity, essentially.
anyway. puts out paw for eventual memory when you're back... ]
[ Anyway, wow... the reflective surface is waking up again.
—In Ailell—the aptly named Valley of Torment—over a hundred Imperial soldiers die at the hands of your strategy.
Well. Technically, they die at the hands of the church forces sent to ambush them. But Edelgard had requested that you send support to her troops with two objectives: 1) rescue her soldiers, and 2) eliminate the church's presence. In order to ensure you achieved objective 2 without any casualties to your own men, you had to forfeit objective 1.
Because you're in a precarious position: a newly titled king with everything to lose. The other nobles don't trust you, and the citizens are exhausted by war. You have to keep casualties to a minimum if you want to protect the delicate power of balance that has been laid out for Leicester, even at the cost of your allies' lives.
You had decided already that you would prioritize being a good king over being a good man. Now it's time live with the consequences of that decision.
[ but, it's time for another memory. the wars that jing yuan have waged were with the denizens of abundance, opponents that are monstrous rather than human. mortal warfare brings in far more questions of morality.
but even if jing yuan may not necessarily align with claude's decisions, he can understand the necessity for them. understand the difficulty of holding the scales in one's hand, of weighing each life and each gambit set down on the battlefield. even the most brilliant strategies are never guaranteed to secure victory without bloodshed. and he does not think claude is someone who painstakingly tallies his resources, only to squander them.
he's contemplative for a moment, before asking, ]
...What was it that made you decide to be a good king, above all?
[ it doesn't sound like a path chosen on a whim. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Tapping his finger against the table. ]
I don't think it's patronizin. [ ... ] Do you think my behaviour suggests otherwise?
[ Do I act like we're not just friends...? ]
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You do seem quite fond. But I understand fondness can be shown, and interpreted in different ways.
People will see what they choose to see. Or, what you allow them to see. No?
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[ Still tapping. ]
I'm just... new to it all, I guess. Having friends. Meeting people without a title and responsibility. I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea.
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...When you are in a position of authority, it can be quite difficult to form casual ties to others, much less serious ones.
But though this is not the ideal way to do it... [ dying, going to heaven, dying yet again, ] I hope it hasn't been a wholly unpleasant experience. Though companionship may not be something we can always choose for ourselves, I don't believe it is something we ought to be denied, either.
...I find myself quite glad, not to be General for a few weeks. Though at the same time, sometimes it is all I can think of. All that must be resolved, when I return.
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I'm much the same.
Obviously, a lot of what happened here wasn't ideal. But it does still feel like a break from my "real" life. All this free time, and ability to socialize without worrying about rank or politics.
It's not really something I've had before.
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[ The lives of too many hinge on our decisions.
there is no bitterness or resentment, here. he is just stating things as they are. ]
...But even my youth has spared me some of that responsibility. I was a Cloud Knight, but no one important.
I'm sorry that we differ in that way. It sounds as if you've had to carry a heavy mantle from an early age. ...It doesn't mean I'll take it easy on you.
[ he is driving claude into check again. ]
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You're playing to keep sharp, I just want to see you eat your pieces out of frustration when I crush you.
[ Sorry, he got heated suddenly. ]
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[ the vague thoughts of haha, the youths these days. ]
Go on then.
[ can he? can he crush him? ]
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[ HE GOT DISTRACTED BECAUSE HE WANTS TO WIN
anyway ]
But you're right that it's a lot of responsibility. But it's what I wanted, so I can't complain. It's hard to gain anything without making sacrifices.
[ For him, it's a personal life. ]
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[ simultaneously a genuine compliment and a tease/distraction tactic. it's amusing to see him so worked up... jing yuan is not above (harmless) emotional manipulation ]
I'd like to learn. There is nothing wrong with being humbled, now and then. [ gives him a FRIENDLY wink as he starts dismantling another one of claude's formations. there is plenty of time for claude to catch on and recover, at least. ]
...How noble of you, though I'd say you're still allowed a complaint or two. I don't imagine those sacrifices are enjoyable to make.
[ anyway! i'm sorry you're not going to understand this, but in a mirror somewhere the bg, a memory interrupts their match and conversation. ]
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He glances over at Jing Yuan. ]
How long ago was that?
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jing yuan is just watching the memory quietly, and he eventually blinks away. ]
...A very long time. But some memories are more stubborn than others.
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I see. What became of that friend?
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...But his successor was eventually freed from the Shackling Prison.
[ there's a briefly projected image of a child. a hatchling vidyadhara, who had been kept in that same, lightless cell. condemned to suffer punishment for someone else's crimes. ]
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They kept a child in that prison?
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[ sometimes you are imprisoned as an adult, and are tortured to death for your crimes... though "death" in this context means rebirth. so the reincarnated version of you grows up in captivity, essentially.
anyway. puts out paw for eventual memory when you're back... ]
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[ I WILL GIVE MEM he is so fascinated by this though... in a negative way ]
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[ isn't it always that way... the distaste is clear. ]
The Vidyadhara council wanted to use him for their own gain. However, they never will.
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[ ? ]
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I negotiated the terms of his release, after I became General. He was banished from the Luofu.
[ he'd still been only a teenager at the time. but it was either that, or staying in the shackling prison indefinitely. ]
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[ Anyway, wow... the reflective surface is waking up again.
—In Ailell—the aptly named Valley of Torment—over a hundred Imperial soldiers die at the hands of your strategy.
Well. Technically, they die at the hands of the church forces sent to ambush them. But Edelgard had requested that you send support to her troops with two objectives: 1) rescue her soldiers, and 2) eliminate the church's presence. In order to ensure you achieved objective 2 without any casualties to your own men, you had to forfeit objective 1.
Because you're in a precarious position: a newly titled king with everything to lose. The other nobles don't trust you, and the citizens are exhausted by war. You have to keep casualties to a minimum if you want to protect the delicate power of balance that has been laid out for Leicester, even at the cost of your allies' lives.
You had decided already that you would prioritize being a good king over being a good man. Now it's time live with the consequences of that decision.
But your friend doesn't see it the way you do, her outrage as fiery as the battlefield you stand on. You field her anger, and Judith's chastising. Because you have to. It's your responsibility to be sympathetic to the people that you serve, even though it stings when she questions your friendship. One of your dearest friends. How could she think that about you?
But perhaps being a good king means you can't be a good friend either, and that's just something you'll have to bear. ]
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[ but, it's time for another memory. the wars that jing yuan have waged were with the denizens of abundance, opponents that are monstrous rather than human. mortal warfare brings in far more questions of morality.
but even if jing yuan may not necessarily align with claude's decisions, he can understand the necessity for them. understand the difficulty of holding the scales in one's hand, of weighing each life and each gambit set down on the battlefield. even the most brilliant strategies are never guaranteed to secure victory without bloodshed. and he does not think claude is someone who painstakingly tallies his resources, only to squander them.
he's contemplative for a moment, before asking, ]
...What was it that made you decide to be a good king, above all?
[ it doesn't sound like a path chosen on a whim. ]
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I have to be, if I want to accomplish the things I want. [ ... ] I've never had much of a personal life anyway, so it isn't much of a sacrifice.
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[ ... ]
Nothing too complicated.
(no subject)