[fair. her experiences have also been extremely negative.]
I don't know if betrayal is the word I'd use. I just... told him many times I was unwilling to be judged by god, for reasons of my own. In the end, I was willing to be judged by my friend Gabriel. But that isn't who he came there as.
[sighing out, deciding if she's really going to lore dump on a week 7 friday pc. apparently yea.]
Shar and Selûne are twin sister goddesses. Their war over the aeons is one of sisterly jealousy and resentment. The moon cannot shine without diminishing the darkness, so they have always been in conflict. But gods in my world also seldom fight one another directly. They use the lives of mortals as proxies. It's sort of an understanding undergirded by divine magic; the triumph of one goddesses' follower is that goddesses' victory as well.
Lady Shar's preference in the war has always been to corrupt Selûne's domains and steal her followers for herself. There was a fiefdom presided over by one of Selûne's champions from the fortress called Moonrise Towers. When he lost a daughter, in his grief Lady Shar turned him to her side, and used him to destroy the surrounding lands and forcibly convert or kill all who lived there. And so in one swoop, she became stronger and Selûne was severely weakened. This was something I talked to Gabriel of often. The Moonmaiden is known by those other than Sharrans as a benevolent goddess, but how much suffering could have been avoided if she had interceded on her follower's behalf before he turned to Shar? The calculation for a goddess on that sort of divine intervention is something too complex for any mortal's understanding, and yet for him in particular, wasn't it everything? That's the fundamental divide that mortal and divine understanding seems unable to bridge.
[that's really all lore though, something long in the past involving a man who she fully intends to go home and merc. but a little more hesitantly, she continues with something else.]
After the fall of Moonrise Towers back then, Lady Shar turned her followers to other projects. There was a ruin of a town we stumbled upon. Decades ago, it was a Selûnite village, but Lady Shar had her followers raid it. It seems her intent was to abduct their children and convert and indoctrinate them, and have them destroy whatever was sacred to Selûne in her name, including the town itself. And in doing so, she would make followers for herself whose very existence was a desecration of Selûne.
[and these are facts that she has always known since before week 0, but it was just a matter of very intentionally never doing any math or asking certain questions that might put those facts into an unpleasant context rather than just believing that coincidentally, she was an orphan who was graciously taken in by the sharrans around the same time as this.]
It is a very cruel thing to do to children, but even so, the part I struggle with most is Selûne's role in all of it, which was to do nothing. And if Lady Shar's aims failed, and she did not create for herself stalwart champions out of Selûne's followers, then I suppose that would be a great victory for the Moonmaiden and her strategy cannot be faulted.
[a heavy sigh at that, too tired to really feel angry about it.]
Anyway, when I saw both of them there, I... I don't know. I'd told him all of this. And yet, what could we expect. That he'd have his domain wage war on the domain of Satan to avenge us? That he'd use all of his power to fight for us? He has all of heaven to think of, and it's not realistic, and as angry with her as I'm sure he is, they have a long history, too.
[ i love shadowheart so accepts this lore even while i am a husk from staying up until 3am tagging
He does catch onto the part about stealing away orphans to raise them in a different faith, remembering what he saw in her memory, of how foreign the prayers had sounded on her tongue. ]
No, it's not realistic for him to go to war for us, and I understand the leniency you're showing him, but... I think if someone calls themselves a god, they should be held to a higher standard.
But I understand if you'd not waste the last moments with a friend on [ how to even describe this? ] upset and hurt feelings.
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It was the right thing to do, after all that happened.
[still, sighing. it's painful, gabriel was someone she really trusted and she feels let down.]
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[ He's going to graciously assume that, anyway.
Glancing at her, and taking a hand to briefly squeeze. ] Are you okay with how things went with Jonas?
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Not really, but that is on me. I told him why I stopped trusting in the gods, but started to think I could trust him not to do the same.
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I don't know if betrayal is the word I'd use. I just... told him many times I was unwilling to be judged by god, for reasons of my own. In the end, I was willing to be judged by my friend Gabriel. But that isn't who he came there as.
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Shar and Selûne are twin sister goddesses. Their war over the aeons is one of sisterly jealousy and resentment. The moon cannot shine without diminishing the darkness, so they have always been in conflict. But gods in my world also seldom fight one another directly. They use the lives of mortals as proxies. It's sort of an understanding undergirded by divine magic; the triumph of one goddesses' follower is that goddesses' victory as well.
Lady Shar's preference in the war has always been to corrupt Selûne's domains and steal her followers for herself. There was a fiefdom presided over by one of Selûne's champions from the fortress called Moonrise Towers. When he lost a daughter, in his grief Lady Shar turned him to her side, and used him to destroy the surrounding lands and forcibly convert or kill all who lived there. And so in one swoop, she became stronger and Selûne was severely weakened. This was something I talked to Gabriel of often. The Moonmaiden is known by those other than Sharrans as a benevolent goddess, but how much suffering could have been avoided if she had interceded on her follower's behalf before he turned to Shar? The calculation for a goddess on that sort of divine intervention is something too complex for any mortal's understanding, and yet for him in particular, wasn't it everything? That's the fundamental divide that mortal and divine understanding seems unable to bridge.
[that's really all lore though, something long in the past involving a man who she fully intends to go home and merc. but a little more hesitantly, she continues with something else.]
After the fall of Moonrise Towers back then, Lady Shar turned her followers to other projects. There was a ruin of a town we stumbled upon. Decades ago, it was a Selûnite village, but Lady Shar had her followers raid it. It seems her intent was to abduct their children and convert and indoctrinate them, and have them destroy whatever was sacred to Selûne in her name, including the town itself. And in doing so, she would make followers for herself whose very existence was a desecration of Selûne.
[and these are facts that she has always known since before week 0, but it was just a matter of very intentionally never doing any math or asking certain questions that might put those facts into an unpleasant context rather than just believing that coincidentally, she was an orphan who was graciously taken in by the sharrans around the same time as this.]
It is a very cruel thing to do to children, but even so, the part I struggle with most is Selûne's role in all of it, which was to do nothing. And if Lady Shar's aims failed, and she did not create for herself stalwart champions out of Selûne's followers, then I suppose that would be a great victory for the Moonmaiden and her strategy cannot be faulted.
[a heavy sigh at that, too tired to really feel angry about it.]
Anyway, when I saw both of them there, I... I don't know. I'd told him all of this. And yet, what could we expect. That he'd have his domain wage war on the domain of Satan to avenge us? That he'd use all of his power to fight for us? He has all of heaven to think of, and it's not realistic, and as angry with her as I'm sure he is, they have a long history, too.
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He does catch onto the part about stealing away orphans to raise them in a different faith, remembering what he saw in her memory, of how foreign the prayers had sounded on her tongue. ]
No, it's not realistic for him to go to war for us, and I understand the leniency you're showing him, but... I think if someone calls themselves a god, they should be held to a higher standard.
But I understand if you'd not waste the last moments with a friend on [ how to even describe this? ] upset and hurt feelings.
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[but there's a frown at that, a feeling of regret.]
I like him a lot. I think this was just a painful reminder that he is a god, and I don't know that it is possible to be friends with a god at all.
Best to just accept the blessing and walk away from it, I think.