I think this mission I've been on recently is the first time I've been away from the cloister in a very long time. [though she says "I think," like she isn't certain about it.] I found myself reconsidering a lot of what I was taught. We have problems that are incredibly dangerous and time sensitive, but the area we're traveling through is rough. There are many refugees trying to make their way, and many bands of cruel people who would see them robbed and killed. It's not as though I saw a world out there that made me reconsider her teachings, believe in beautiful and nice things.
And I'm not trying to say I'm a nice person, either. It's easy enough for me to say, it is not practical to help these people, we do not have time or resources, and they must fend for themselves. But Lady Shar doesn't want pragmatism, she wants cruelty. She'd sooner see me help them meet their end. That's the part I don't think I'm cut out for.
no subject
[she sighs.]
I think this mission I've been on recently is the first time I've been away from the cloister in a very long time. [though she says "I think," like she isn't certain about it.] I found myself reconsidering a lot of what I was taught. We have problems that are incredibly dangerous and time sensitive, but the area we're traveling through is rough. There are many refugees trying to make their way, and many bands of cruel people who would see them robbed and killed. It's not as though I saw a world out there that made me reconsider her teachings, believe in beautiful and nice things.
And I'm not trying to say I'm a nice person, either. It's easy enough for me to say, it is not practical to help these people, we do not have time or resources, and they must fend for themselves. But Lady Shar doesn't want pragmatism, she wants cruelty. She'd sooner see me help them meet their end. That's the part I don't think I'm cut out for.